i think i’m obsessed
obsessed with someone thinking the universe of me not many just one obsessed with mattering to one person not many just one obsessed with being chosen even when it’s hard even when it’s ugly obsessed with past ‘loves’ when i used to be the sparkle that dwelled in their eye and mind and heart and then .. in their nothing a wall has grown a cold wall between the world and my feelings i run from any glimpse of anyone possibly getting attached to me ..well, this thing we all call me it’s just a shadow trying to find validity in its surroundings since she can’t see herself ( AM I HERE?! AM I ? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME ?! CAN ANYONE EXPERIENCE ME ?! CAN ANYONE FEEL THE DEPTH OF ME ?! BECAUSE I FEEL NOTHING !!!!! ) i’m obsessed obsessed with someone anyone caring but i push and i push and push those that love me away away away i feel like i carry a .. something .. a poison maybe ? a poison hidden so deep within me that only those who fall deep enough manage to encounter and then are repelled both of us confused about what ? where ? how ? why ? huh ? what ?! i’ve fallen in love once everything before that i dubbed ‘love’ is nothing now but was everything then i see that now . i walked into love . and love walked into me for me and we grew love and i grew so naturally love walked with me sometimes, flew with me danced with me ran with me .. and then away from me a mystery our short journey , i wouldn’t mind being stuck on repeat but it’s over now . and some days are easier than others . grieving such wanderlust .. it’s hard to just get over i wonder will i ever.. or will i forever wander in the realm of you .
